Gerald the Commanding General Vs. PaPa the Barracks Rat

Barracks Rat
2. The Marine equivalent of a couch potato.


Apparently my nephew is a pint-sized military commando.
Aside from his perfect explanations in the time of trouble :
question, "Gerald why did you do that?"
answer, "Cause I did it."
We have come to realize that my sister didn't give birth to just any ordinary child, she spawned a miniature Colin Powell.

GeraldthAGreat has trained himself in torture tactics-
"Gerald stop....ok Gerald here just take it" is a commonly heard chorus from all who comes under his persuasion.
He has the ability to confuse you -
"the remote (or me-mote as he says) was always in the bathroom behind the sink, that's where I found it Auntie Moe....PaPa put it there."
He is highly skilled in the conspiracy manifesto:
"Christina you run that way and while she chases you I'll get the candy"
He has even created his own morse code -
it's inclusive of a pointing finger and a smile. While you're captivated by the smile he has
already communicated the movements to Chrissygirl and piggy:
1 finger point - wait
2 finger points - get ready
3 finger points - go go go go go

But now as my father can attest to, he has become an expert in the battle-sneak attacks or unconventional warfare.

Target: Cookies in kitchen cabinet
Obstacle: Very big PaPa seated on chair between kitchen and GTG (geraldthagreat) headquarters (his bedroom)

It begins with a command from the opposing side:
"Gerald! Lay down and go to sleep!"

Then comes the standoff:
Gerald and PaPa tries to wait the other out. Whoever falls asleep first wins.
Gerald - "Go to sleep PaPa - you're getting sleepy"
PaPa- "GET IN THE BED GERALD"

Positives for PaPa's side:
too much still time is definite sleep trap for Gerald.

Positives for Gerald's side:
too much still time is definite sleep trap for PaPa. that and the gazillion pills that PaPa has to take everyday - and Gerald knows that he took them because just a few hours earlier Gerald reminds PaPa "don't forget your medicine PaPa" and then Geraldthagreat watches PaPa as he swallows each pill down.

So here they are - so far it's a draw...but Gerald being the quicker witted of the two sees that the staring and peeking out of the door isn't working. PaPa is a most worthy opponent so being the Great one Gerald is, he decides to use the sleeping child fake out....
He lays back arms extended on both sides in full knocked out mode, he opens his mouth slightly and shuts his eyes.
He hears PaPa walking toward the room, he feels PaPa pushing the door open a bit and peeking in and GeraldthAGreat doesn't budge-
PaPa falling for the ole okey-doke thinks that he's won, he slightly closes the door leaving it open a crack(just enough for a wiley 2year old to squeeze through).
GeraldthAGreat waits a few moments - he knows it won't be long now - PaPa was showing signs of the droopy eye...
Quietly GthAG rises and slides off of the bed - getting close to the ground (on his belly) he crawls silently to the cracked door-
Slipping through the tiny slit he moves with precision matching his movements with PaPa's breath:
inhale - freeze
exhale- go

using only his knees and elbows he slowly - quietly makes his way through the living room and so it goes on...he must be patient...he now has the kitchen in his sights -
LOUD burst of laughter erupts from the TV - Gerald drops turns his head to make sure PaPa is still knocked out - ahhhhhhhhhh - drool from PaPa- good sign for Gerald.
He continues on - linoleum on his fingertips - the completion of his mission is close at hand -
he only needs to grab a few cookies and get a starting run - he's sure he'll be able to eat a few, grab a few, and quickly run back into the room while PapA tries to get up off of the sunken chair.

Slowly GeraldthAGreat stands close to the counter...1st phase of mission complete

He glances over his shoulder to make sure coast is clear - PaPa is still drooling and sleeping.

with victory close at hand he opens a draw as quietly as he can and climbs up onto the counter - he opens cabinet and his tiny fingers wrap themselves around the package of cookies - 2nd phase of mission complete.
He pulls the box down and sticks his tiny hand into the box - a smile slowly spreads across his face...he reaches in....he touches the cookie....

"GERALD GET OFF THAT COUNTER AND GET YOUR BEHIND BACK IN THAT BED!!!!!!"

abort abort abort!!!!! screams GeraldthAGreat....PaPa has awoken...in tremendous fear Gerald drops the box of cookies his fingers salvaging only one... he hastily climbs off the counter and flees to safety with all the speed his tiny legs can muster .....
he's safe...PaPa is still trying to get up out of the chair...

GeraldthAGreat jumps in bed and pulls the covers over his head - that PaPa foiled his mission and as GeraldthAGreat falls asleep he eats the one cookie he was able to snatch and he thinks to himself "there is always next time PaPa."